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Best of Dave Pratt Week of 6/5/17

By Clip Syndicate
Did you miss Dave Pratt last week? Catch up now! Video: Best of Dave Pratt Week of 6/5/17
Did you miss Dave Pratt last week? Catch up now! Mon, 12 Jun 2017 02:31:44 +0000 Best of Dave Pratt Week of 6/5/17 Did you miss Dave Pratt last week? Catch up now! KASW CW 61 >> that's what theyay. that's the coldest place in arizona in the summertime. because of the air conditioning. it cranks up so much. look at you, molly, look at you, erika. what's up with the ladies today? what are those ponchos? were you just in the outlaw josie whales? is that. >> is your wife like mine whenever you hide in to go somewhere she goes i forgot my sweater and has to go back into the house, sweater, it's 200 degrees outside. >> are you going skiing today that we don't know about. erika, do you want to warm yourself over a fire? >> it is a little chilly in here , though. >> i like it. i like it. >> i lovet in the summertime when it's really hot outside and then you crank up the air conditioner all the way so you go bke, anan feels so good until my wife yells at me that the air condition something up too high. don't you love that? >> i love it. >> you know it's great to be in a marriage you know why? no senate heangs that james comey thing has just taken over all the news. you know what's surprising is the bill cosby stuff. nobody's interested. you know why? because believe if or not, this cosby thing broke out about 11 years ago now. sot's been churning and burn ing in the news inhat media cycle for over a decad so now it's on trial it's already been on trial. now he's just like this pathetic old man ing through the process. you know, people ask me the difference between thahat and oj well, o.j. had all the sexins to it. number one, you know, america loves a mystery. think about it. those are thee biggest shows on television. oj was the ultimate reality show , right? it had everything, it had the love triangle, had it the murder mystery it had the bronco chase, it had the goofy detectives. it had all that stuff going on and people were just entrenched in the o.j. case and then along with that, had you a guy that was only middle age and still had half of his life to live. >> rig. >> but now cosby, he's just pathetic looking. he's just this old pathetic guy and even if he's found guilty at this point he'lle eating jello in a cell somewhere. >> he will just get a couple years of prison and it would be a lifetime sentence. but now this james c comey thi. isn't this reality television? you don't mind my take on this, reality television is so fixed. i mean, if you truly believe that these dating showows or sig ing shows or these talent shows are being judged b bid you on your cell phone, then you deservwhat you get. because these reality shows are so fake. this is truly a reality show. >> james comey. >> that's wh it is. that's why the campaign is so high in the ratings for so many television stations because it truly is reality televevision an yocan't get any more dratic than politics today competion mystery and hacking and spying and -- and you've got two different sides. >> senate trials. >> it's like a sporting event. have you two different fans for two different sides. >> it is. james comey's a tall dude. cleveland might be able to use him. i know they're down 3-0. they might be able to use him. >> i don't think anything will help. >> you know, i am a thankful mamayor i would like to share eh you at this time what i am thank ful for, and here we go. i'm thankful for the last breath of life, the rio shack, sears, am/fm dio and cleveland. ? thank you ? >> i'm thankful that today we all will take a shot every time james comey says lift the cloud. >> thank you ? >> i'm thankful that at starbucksia vonn came orders a non-fat vanilla latté, no whip. i'm thankful that for every reality winner there is a reality loser. >> i'm thahankful that demi mooe is not a summer lifeguard. i'm thankful that maybe they are almost done with the oldld carpl karoke thing. ? thank you. >> i'm thankful for the man bun on bradley cooper. ? tnk you ? >> looks like a qui order at denny's. >> welcome to dave pratt, haley is in the house today. good speaking of carrie underwood and keith urban. you know, they did a different version on the music awards. they started really slow with no band. >> and they were kind of just facing each other on stage. you know, the dramatic distance and then the walk and then the band kicked in, and it was great >> i'm gonna have to look that up. >> i do like growth both of them brad paisley wasn't on the awards last night either, it's interesting how these thihings break out, whether it's rock or hip-hop or academy awards or country music, whatever you watch, who shows up and who doesn't i think is always the bigger part of the story. >> it's true. i mean, he does have a song out right now. maybe he wasn't asked to perform maybe he's mad. maybe he's the only onone that thinks he shouould beith carrie underwood and not keith urban. >> let me ask you this. you touch on something really interesting here. say you're brad paisley and you're not nominated for a cmt music award and ask you to show up and putou in the front row and say everybody is saying bra. you not go for that reason? >> well, first of all he gets a pass if he doesn't go. he'll be invited to the next one >> is it like a little mini protest? >> maybe or do you think they're actually like baby. maybe he has a life and kids a d all that stuff. >> maybe that happened. >> saking of tt, father's day, not this weekend but next weekend and it's the first one for big poppa coming up. >> i know, i'm so excited. >> we're going to take care of him. >> he wants a tool belt. >> he wants anything from home depot. >> because he's building these libraries of stuff. >> he is. would you find him incredibly sexy in a tool belt. >> yeah, he has that. >> ladies like that stuff. >>eah, i l like that about my husband that he can build anything. >> yeah, i wear mine in theshow. want to brings up the jetty seinfeld thing to you bause in the world of celebrities don't you think there's a little protocol where you don't make each other awkward? so jerry jerry seinfeld is -- >> that t video is hard t watch. >> she just said i'm a big f,ca. and he sd no, and then she ask ed again thinking he was joking and he said no, and then e asd again and he backeked up and said i'm good. and then she was like, oh, and she you with ad off. >> and it was on cama. >> what's wrong with just being lite. what does a hug hurt? >> do you think he didn't know who she was or does that matter? >> i think he knew she was a celebrity but didn't know who she was, nor does he care. but he had to know that she was in the celebrity circle because of the proximity where she was. >> i feel bad for her about that >> what would itt hurt just to give a quick hug? unless he's a clean freakak. maybe he's like howieandell. >> maybe, yeah. >> but i would think that you always spare somebody the shame of kind of hanging there, pretty awkwar you know. anuy, shopping under the influence. >> half of my amazon - >> you have your wine and -- >> i'll take one ofhese, and one of these. i'm really a tightalked so i don't like to spend a lot money and so it probably would help knee have a glass of wine and then make purchases. i'd feel a little bibetter about it. >> you downtown drink and shop online? >> no, i don't. i like to shop responsibly. >>>> so i gotta say you always come in here looking like, you know, a million bucks. >> thank you. >> so do you go o and get bargains and stuff? >> i've had clothes that i've had for a long time. >> tod you look like you got back from the jungle, camouflage but other than that... >> yeah, i'm a bargain shopper. i shop at last chance. >> is that like secondary stores >> no, buthere nordstrom's returns go. >> i thought it was like when somebody goes -- the consignment stores. >> last chance. >>>> these clothes are from nordstrom's so it's their selection. so ican be seasonal. >> so if somebody wore it to a party once and returned it. >> maybe, or maybe they just took it home and returned it. >> do women in television get a clothing allowance? >> i have before. >>>> really? >> do most get clothing allowances. >> it depends on the station. i think i got $3,000 at a place th i worked. >> for a trip? >> $3,000 to go and buy the clothes that they tolde i had to buy. they didn't like my ward exproab this is how they coected it. i had to buy black, blue or red blazers. >> okay, t that's a little hilly cltonish. yeah, it was. agreed. >> blame the russians. >> do they payor you make-up? >> yeah. some places, yeah. >> god, i need to you re-do my contract. i want $3 grand. >> you could get 1,000 shirts. >> all right, amy francis, thank u. th getting closer to that bruno mars announcement. th's gonna be one of the hot ticketses for bruno mars. we will have tickets for you right here on dave pratt live. facebook stuff going on. great way to stay in touch with you, our loyal viewers. let's do it, facebook. >> all right, we always check what's trending d messages from you our loyal viewers. >> a british grandma is a hero. and i love this lady. what happens as we get older? do we stop caring or do we stop caring about what other people think about us? it's truly a feeling of freedom where you can just speak your mind. you wear what you want to the grocery store. if you don't like me, you don't like me. you wear the slippers wh dress socks. and corduroy shihirts anir all of your back, and i'm talking about the women, and we don't re. as you just get older you downtown care. what age does that happen? because i still care a little bit. yeah, i don't care what i look like obviously.. >> but what i say. >> i still bite my tongue a lot. >> so this british grandmother is a herond this is why i love this generation. she's 75 years oldld a and has become a local folk hero when she got tired of cars and motorcycles speeding by her house. she's been in the same house for years and there's cars and motorcycles speeng by the house. what did she do? this is beautiful, she took her hair dryer and she sat out on the front lawn and she started pointing it at cars going by like it's a haired gun, and it actually slows down the traic in the neighborhood. one car pulled over and id what are you doing? she goes, yeah, i've been hired by the state to try to slow down traffic, so i have my radar gun. she's holding a hair dryer. the word got out and people have been slowing down in front of her house. i love that. my mom, this is true -- so barry goldwater, u. senator, i was blessed to know hihim a litt bit. not like friends where we hung outogether but i was blessed to know him. so when he was senator, my mom was living on a mountain preserve and there was a bunch of drive bush collectingehind her retainer wall, and she thought it was a fire hazard, and she couldn't get them to clear it out. she called senator barry gold water's office and said do you know who i am? i am dave pratt's mother. he's going to go on the air and tell all of his listeners to torch the mountain reserve. they will burn it down i you don't take care of this fire hazard. so i got a call from susan, his wife, and she's like, dave, your mom sounded angry on the voice mail she's not reallyoing to start t a fire on the mountainp. and i'm like, no, she's harpless i'll handle my mom. mom, please don't c cl senator barry -- the hell i won't, david they're gonna clear up that dry brush if it's the last thing i ever do. and you will go on e a and tell them it's a fire hazard. i'm like, mom.. and they haven't been picking up my recyclable barrel on tuesdays >> this is the story you kw about, how many times has she been in the grocery line -- do >> i i'm telling ya.? she would do itll of the time. she w went to the bank. this is true, this was when she was only about 170 years old, she walked into o the banknd lding her little doggy. >> oh, that little tiny doggy. and the bank told her, you know, mrs. pratt, we're sorry, you're not allowed to have animals in the bank. >> not that long ago, this is about 10 years ago. >> she could have got the little cover that says this is a service dog. >>his is only y about 10 years ago and she insisted on talking to the banank manager my son is dave pratt and he's going to tell everybody not to put their money inin this bank and not to trust in this bank because you won't let his mother's dog in the bank. do you want that to happen? and they're like, mrs. pratt, we're so sorry... >> they let the dog in the bank, i take it. >> and i didn't know about this, and she asked me to go to the bank with her one district attorney, and i thought myy mom just wants he has to keep her company, go to lunch or something. no, she wanted to take me in there as leverage, to hold me up in front of the bk manager and say, see, this is my son. >> i gta start using our friendship a little bit more, buddy. >>e will ta about you. [ laughter ] here this grandmother in england holding a hair dryer like it's a radar. i s. >> let's say that you watch powerball and have $375 million, and then you pay taxes, and i can'telieve that some people even have a problem when they start talking about taxes on powerball, because there's $375 million there. so the federal tax -- how can you win $375 and complain? the federal tax is $58.85 million. that's a lot of muffin. >> all right. >> state taxes are another $ millio now you're at $295 million and then they say that other amounts will be withheld before you get your final sum. so let's just say that after you pay taxes, you end up with $250 million. okay i'd like to make you a deal, if you would like to give me $375 million, i'll give you125 back and we're good. okay. moving on, wednesdays and thursdays are the two best days to ask for a raise. >> so you and i should have a meeting after work today. with mrspratt. >> sh the win that writes the checks. she's like, i don't write the checks. it's direct deposit. >> all right, i would like to share with you at this time what i am thankful for. i'm thankful that the only one perfming worse than the cleveland cavaliers is the mayor of london. ? thank you. >> i'm thaful for petroleum jelly. ? thank you. >> i'm thankful l for coolnd refreshing trader joe's ice cream with butter. i'mhankful that a psychic hit by a car said he didn't see it coming. ? thank you. [ laughter ] >> i thankful for hour-long infomercials on how to fix crack ed feet. ? thank you. >> i'm thaful that after fir ing a pistol,l, i've never held it up to my facand blew on the barrel. ? thank you. >> and i'm thankful for new marguerite tail sluies. ? thank you ? >> i'm watching this old western last night on tevisionnd they're having a sho-out, and the guy with the pistol, it -- takes a shot and then holds it up to his face and blows on the barrel. i'm saying not a good idea ever to hold a barrel pointing at your face. you think? and the psychic who was hit by e didn't see it coming. heill have a tent at the arizona state

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